My Granny

I miss my grandparents everyday, none more than on my birthday. Every year they would get on the phone together and sing Happy Birthday. This was a tradition, gramps called many in the family to sing Happy Birthday. As  gramps fell into a coma, one of his sisters by his side, my brother entered the room, she said it’s T’s birthday and gramps started singing. Those were his last words, I know my brother cherishes every word. Tomorrow I turn 51 yrs old, my grandparents can’t call yet I know they are thinking about me. A daily one minute phone call to say I’m alive was all granny needed. She always worried about me. They loved to watch our reactions to Santa, hiding Easter eggs and fighting over who would lick the bowl of frosting. I learned to roller skate at approx 5 years old. Skating provided an outlet and hearing my favorite music over the loud-speaker made me want to dance. As I got older my grandparents would take us skating. Unlike many parents today, my grandparents would stay to watch us have fun. We were building memories that last a lifetime. I loved to speed skate, coming around the last corner full speed one of my wheels blew out throwing me over the mushroom seats. I got up, sat down and began taking my skates off. The ball bearings wore out, it was a right of passage for us kids. Getting new wheels didn’t cross my mind, I didn’t have the money and knew my mother would die before buying me new wheels. My grandmother comes over, her purse on her arm as always and whispers in my ear “what do new wheels cost”. We talked to the salesperson about the different wheels and prices. I focused on the least expensive but really wanted the green speed skating wheels. She knew me so well, asking “how much for the green ones”? She says “I have some mad money” which meant she was hiding money. “Don’t tell your grandfather how much they cost”, ok no problem. She had money hid everywhere, under my dolls clothes, behind frames, in kick knacks. After her death I rounded up several hundred dollars, gramps had no idea she was hiding money. I had to take every photo frame apart, look in everything. Before Dementia took her mind, she took her wedding ring off and forgot where. This crushed gramps, we constantly looked for the ring. During one of our searches after her death I find this kleenex crumpled up in the bottom of a drawer. As soon as I pick it up, pay dirt. We stood there staring at it crying. He slept with the ring in a box by the bed, he gave it to me before he died.

My grandparents had 5-6 huge trees out back loaded with squirrels. Living thru the Depression, gramps knew how to entertain himself for hours. He would go to the river bottoms to pick up pecans, coming home with several buckets full. Then sit in his lawn chair in the shade to sort and crack. He did this several days a week for years so it was no surprise when he had a squirrel eating out of his hand. Granny wasn’t afraid of squirrels but didn’t have the same affection for them. Until she thought he killed one. It was hilarious to hear them tell the story. One of gramps other past times was sitting on the front porch using a sling shot and pecans to scare the squirrels. He shot a pecan up the tree, hits one, it falls out of tree and she thinks it’s dead. She had a few choice words then told him to go check on the squirrel. Gramps is about to pick it up and it comes to. He had knocked it out. I think they were both surprised and off the squirrel went. It bothered me watching this cat and mouse game my whole life, then he took it to a new level. Retirement can get boring for some, not gramps. He started leaving cages out back, when the squirrel would go in the door would close. He checked them all day long, as soon as the door went down, he would round granny up and off to the river bottoms they go. He might release six to eight a day. I think he really did it to get her out of the house, granny was legally blind, this allowed her to put some lipstick on and get out of the house.

My grandparents gave me unconditional love, self-confidence and their time. Time is more precious than what to me.

Warrior

25 Comments on “A Grandparents Love Lives On With Happy Birthday Wishes

  1. OMG girl!!! I never knew we were 2 days apart on the B’Day thingy!! lol I’m on the 17th – yep a little cancer like you! The best wishes for you always and forever! xoxo ❤

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    • Do anything special for yourself for the BDay? I ate a big peice of cake and spent the day on computer. I’m pretty low key at home, nothing the wild cat people think I am. Happy Birthday. Cancer, that’s where the caregiver in me comes from. Anything else new with you. Have you talked to Tee?

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      • Caregiver in me too! My friend took me to dinner last night 🙂 I didn’t feel like celebrating much because I was hoping to hear from my girls but that never happened 😦 Oh well maybe one day… I hear that Ms Tee is preparing to relocate for her safety (I pray for her a lot). Any new stuff with you ?

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      • I ate a huge piece of chocolate cake!!!! WOW, I’m slowing down from my wild days!!!! Of course being sick for years doesn’t have anything to do with with it. I’ve talked with Tee a lot this past week or so. I know you can understand my frustration as a friend and observer. It pisses me off so many women leave a bad situation with little to nothing including no money. Work there ass off to reestablish their life and move on. Then the abuser continues to abuse or threaten and use kids as pawns. Angel’s going thru that, so is Tee. The assholes keep terrorizing and it pisses me off. I don’t want to open any scars you have. I don’t have DV directly, I saw it as a kid, a pawn for my mother. My mother told me my father raped her and I was the mistake.Now I was already abused so it’s not surprising. As an adult I’ve seen the big picture. I see how Angel’s kids are being used to continue to abuse her. Everyone amazes more everyday, bringing a new meaning to survivor. I believe everything has a reason, even when it makes no since that God would have us suffer more. In my own life I can make sense at times since I have a lifelong illness that requires tremendous strength to deal with at times. I’m not the type to ask why very often. It’s so painful to see what my friends are going thru and not ask why. It is amazing to me that I rarely hear, why, everyone get’s their head together and marches on. Seeing thru a kids eye as an adult brings up so many bad memories. The caregiver in me wants to take the pain away. I must get smarter and more emotional as I age. I’m shaky and crying for a group of people who I have not met yet feel like they are my family. Now than I’ve given you a total downer! I hope you are well. Didn’t you say you were dating again? I hope you’re having fun meeting men who respect you. Hugs!

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      • I feel the same way too about wanting to help. The reason we don’t ask why is because we have walked in those shoes and understand the true meaning of just being there for one another. As for dating, not really…I have been enjoying the company of a friend for a bit over a year now and he understands where I’ve been and I am thankful every day for God having put him on my path. Hugs to you too my friend! ❤

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      • Hey,
        I must have you mixed up on the dating thing. I think your approach is the best way. Have someone you can trust, throw your problems on a bad day and will still love you tomorrow. I have learned so much about DV since joining the WP. I lived in the environment,watching thru a child’s eye. He beat her she beat me. Are you happy? Or still processing. Everyone has a different story and healing times can take much longer for some. I realized today my fight or flight mentality is abuse the day I entered the world. I don’t fight with boyfriends or husbands, maybe 4-5 a year if that. What does happen is I walk away or he ignores me when I’m talking by playing on computer. The result of two people growing up in dysfunctional families. When I’m talking to you don’t tune me out and look over at the computer. I blew a small fuse last week. I told him how it made me feel and I did not want to talk with him while angry. You can’t live with them, jury is still out on if you can. But one blessing is I can see people all over the world are much worse than me. Its reality, in perspective you keep going. Enough on my soap box. Take care and don’t be a stranger. 🙂

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      • I had coffee and danish delivered to my bed the same way I have it every weekend. Lucky me!!!! I haven’t read your last post yet. Hope you’re setteling in. Don’t eat all the candy!!!!!! 🙂

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      • Breakfast in bed is great! And I kind of finished the candy and moved to ice-cream… :). I’ll rent a crane to get to the plane in 3 weeks :))

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  2. Beautiful memories. It’s the greatest blessing to have grandparents in our lives that cared for us. So many aren’t as fortunate. Happy Birthday!

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    • I would not be alive without them, the lessons learned are invaluable. You didn’t mention my special picks for Throw Back Thursday. I have a post tomorrow hopefully you can round up support for. An ex Marine moved to CA from FL to received PTSD treatment. 2 tours Afghan, saved eight lives and received a war time promotion to Sgt. along with a medal. He was heading back to San Diego, took a wrong turn into Mexico. There was no way to turn around, he told the first officer what happened and he just needed to turn around. Nope. He told them about his registered weapons in the truck, along with all of his belongings. They put him jail on weapons charges, beat the crap out of him and no he’s been transfered to a federal prison in 24 hr solitary confinement. This happened on March 31st. His mother tells the story nicely in a video. Talk to you later. 🙂

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  3. Such a sweet tribute to your grandparents. Wishing you a happy birthday tomorrow!

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  4. Have a blessed birthday and warm memories are always a blessing. What a nice tribute to your grandparents. It’s pretty obvious through your memories that they showed Christ’s love to you.

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    • What I appreciate the most is they set an example and lived their life honestly. My grandfather was 92 when he died, he was still in love with my grandmother. How many times does that happen. 62 years, that a long time to get on my nerves. When we were talking about how long he had to live, it took him a minute and we both said he would get to see granny again. He was so ready to see her. They were from poor hard working backgrounds, their experiences taught me how good I had it. Have a good weekend. 🙂

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  5. I love this post, thank you for sharing your memories of your grandparents with us. I hope that tomorrow brings you a wonderful birthday! ❤

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    • Thank you. I could talk about them for days and not even scratch the surface. They are the reason I’m alive and well adjusted considering all the abuse I went thru. Have a great day. I think it might be a good nap day!!!!

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