I’m Mourning And She’s Still Alive

Hands of seniors

What is a Caregiver? A person who gives every ounce of themselves to comfort the dying.

PUBLISHED ON February 6, 2006

The caregiver posts were my first attempt at blogging. I needed an outlet to avoid dumping all in husbands lap.

My grandmother passed away in 2005 from Dementia related to Strokes. I’m reposting for caregivers who give freely every ounce to keep loved one comfortable in their last hours.  Just one piece of advice if I may, Take time to clear your head, 10 or 30 minutes whatever you can do for yourself each week. I had brain drain after both of their deaths, my body was physically broken down. Due to the nature of the illness, it’s hard to take an eye off 24/7. I was fortunate we had hospice care for Granny. My grandfather was healthy enough to help, crushing to see the emotions as his wife for over 50 years slipped away.  

I’m Morning and She’s Still Alive

As the main caregiver for my grandparents my hands are overflowing lately, my mind allows me to run at that level by switching to what I call “caregiver mode”. I can manage information about the drugs they take, schedule appointments, discuss test results, anything needed for the two people I love the most, who are dying and “switch back” when at home.

Before breaking her hip my grandmother knew me, though our conversations were limited I enjoyed sharing memories with her. She really enjoyed a photo book I made with many photos of her beloved dog, Blackie. Thinking about Blackie always made her smile, even though he died twenty years ago, she remembered him like it was yesterday. On the way to their house last week tears were rolling down my face, I could not stop crying. It took a few minutes to figure out what was causing so much pain. My mind had switched from caregiver to granddaughter, realizing my grandmother no longer knew me. The realization was much harder to accept as her granddaughter.We would not share our memories again. I knew the day would come and said prayers often for the memories we shared. I’m in mourning and miss my grandmother so much.

Xx M  aka Warrior

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